South Park: watch ‘Ten Top Shockers’
The Guardian has covered South Park’s ‘201st’ Episode furore in various ways (eg No freak-out over South Park), but an addition to Ed PIlkington’s news article lists its Ten Top Shockers. (Despite getting four of the titles wrong. Yeah, I emailed them already.)
This seems like a good excuse for a playlist, so here you can watch all of the Guardian’s top 10 shocking episodes. Whether you agree with them or not, it’s quite a good, if well-known, selection.
They’re not great quality, but then they’re free. If you want to be able to see them perfectly, buy the DVDs, you cheap bastards.
1. The Passion of the Jew
Episode 114
31 March 2004
Cartman tells Kyle that in Mel Gibson’s The Passion, Jews are evil. Kyle goes to see the movie and is horrified by how Jesus is tortured. He admits Cartman was right, and Cartman vows to dedicate his life to preaching Gibson’s “teachings”…
2. Stupid Spoiled Whore Video Playset
Episode 123
1 December 2004
Paris Hilton is coming to South Park for a store-opening, and the schoolgirls are excited. But Wendy has no idea who she is. Meanwhile, Hilton is distraught about the bloody suicide of her latest dog, and wants Butters as a replacement.
3. Hell on Earth 2006
Episode 1011
25 October 2006
Satan decides that Halloween is essentially his holiday, and he’s going to have a huge sweet 16-style party in Los Angeles. Yep, it’s the one with Steve Irwin in it. And Biggie Smalls, who is succesfully conjoured from the afterlife.
4. With Apologies to Jesse Jackson
Episode 1101
7 March 2007
Stan’s dad Randy appears on Wheel of Fortune and is presented with a bonus round puzzle whose category is “People Who Annoy You”. The puzzle ends up spelling: N _ G G E R S … Well, it’s obviously Ni-[SNIP]
5. The Ring
Episode 182
11 March 2009
Kenny has a new girlfriend, fifth grader Tammy Warner, who may or may not be under the sexual hypnosis of the Jonas Brothers. Who in turn may or may not be under the control of a megalomanic Mickey Mouse.
6. Osama Bin Laden has Farty Pants
Episode ??
7 November 2001
The lads meet Osama Bin Laden after they are mistakenly shipped to Afghanistan instead of a goat. Strange Looney Toons references here too, as Cartman challenges Bin Laden to a battle of wits, and we learn one of them has a really small winkie. (Notice the airdate’s daring proximity to 9/11.)
7. Bloody Mary
Episode ??
7 December 2005
Stan’s dad gets arrested for drink driving and is ordered to attend Alcoholics Anonymous, where he is taught that he is in fact powerless to control his drinking, since alcoholism is a disease. So he begins to drink more, and seeks a cure from a bleeding statue of the Virgin Mary. Which is bleeding out of its…
8. It Hits the Fan
Episode 66
20 June 2001
The show Cop Drama uses the word “shit.” uncensored. Shit enters into everyday parlance. Shit goes down in schools and people use shit constantly, casually, and often out of shit context. Has a handy-dandy shit-counter of every shit.
9. The Snuke
Episode 1104
28 March 2007
This ep is a stylistic parody of 24. A muslim kid arrives at school, and Cartman suspects the worst. But this time, the terrorists are America’s oldest enemy, rather than one of its many newer ones. Rips Hillary Clinton a new one, and causes the self-inflicted death of one of England’s sacred cows.
10. Trapped in the Closet
Episode ??
16 November 2005
Stan hankers for something “fun and free” and so joins Scientology. This episode is notorious for the titular joke at a certain Mr Cruise’s expense, and for Isaac Hayes’ resignation. Turns out he was happy to ridicule anything and everything APART from Scientology. FYH is happy to report that Scientology is a serious, truthful and wise way to spend tens of thousands of dollars, and is not in any way the lunatic ramblings of a failed sci-fi novelist. No sir.
• WTF man, South Park isn’t horror!!11!Apart from the obvious point that you’re confusing me with someone who gives a shit, South Park is intended to be offensive and shocking. The Guardian has selected these episodes as particularly hair-raising, and so we did a thing on it. Moreover, South Park is gory, exploitative and does contain scenes, or descriptions of, horrific acts. Cartman once fed a crying child chili made out of his own parents, for fuck’s sake. That’s good enough for us.
I am a meat popsicle
